Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Insignificance and Tolerance

At some point in a person's life, they'll come to a point of realisation of where they stand in life. Where they truly stand in a person's eyes.

Me? I've just came to a point that I realise that I have never achieved anything much in life, I am not one of the smartest people, not one of the richest, never excelled much in wtv I did.. I'm just an insignificant being. Neither this nor that. The one that doesn't have bday parties thrown for her, the one that doesn't have gifts piling up on chirstmas, the one that has friends who makes her feel insignificant at times, the one that never had a father arnd much, the one that has a workaholic mom ( my parents love me.. Don't jump to conclusions! Haha..). I'm just that girl that never really made an impact on someone's life. Yea okay maybe I've hurt people, made a few happy but that's about it. -__- So meaningless. I need to find peace within and of course only God can fill that gap in my life. I am blessed of course. Just unsatisfied with some parts of my life. It's time for a change.. I need to think about what I want for my future and head there.

Sounds so tragic. I may have made it sound worst than it actually is. Let me cut down on all my melodramatic-ness! :P (TRY) Haha!

First & foremost, I am happy. All this rant is just me being upset that people just walk in and out of my life so easily. I just need people I can really count on. Friends, family, best friends.. People that are there for me and truly care & appreciate me. I feel like I always give and give till I realize nobody gives a crap about how I feel. But it's okay. I believe that "what you sow is what reap". Wtv.. Ok I sound like some emo teenager that's about to slit her wrist. ._. I am NOT about to do that.. I just felt like sharing my random thoughts at 3:43am. Yup.

I just think its time I am surrounded by people who make me happy. People who truly love me & appreciate me. I'm done always being the one that gets pushed arnd so much.. Pfft.. Find urself another doormat! I am retiring.. To the people that have always been there for me, thank you. :)

Will be taking bigger measures from now on. For myself. Finally.. For once, it's going to be about me. People who are so quick to judge me, just fuck off. I don't need people like u who don't know a thing about me, affect the way I feel. :)

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Revamping my blog! :D

Hi there! :D I created a few badges for my blog! ♥
Lovely? So in love with pastel colors.. I know it doesn't really match my blog background right now.. More updates coming up..

Anybody wants me to create badges for their blogs? We can discuss the designs that you are interested in.
I charge a small fee though.. If interested, e-mail me at: nicoleallisson93@hotmail.com

Thank you lovely readers..

Nicole ♥

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Competitive Nature

I just joined a competition a month ago for TheFaceShop's Top Girl competition. Results are coming out on the 16thMay2012! I am freaking out!

They will pick the Top20 & the 20 will attend an interview on the 19thMay2012! On that day itself, they will eliminate 10 people!! Omg.. I really hope my interview session goes well.. Or else.. I can wave goodbye to my dream of representing the brand for 1year, the RM8000, the all expense paid trip to Korea, meeting the ambassadors, making new friends from all over Asia and the supply of beauty products! D;

After they pick the Top10, the 10 will be asked to go for a photo shoot immediately! The pictures will then BR uploaded and posted on their fb page. Ok, do this is the part I dislike. The contestants must ask their fellow friends to vote for them. I believe that this is a li'l unfair as ppl with more friends will get more votes. D;

According to them, the votes only carry a small percentage of marks to the final decision. <3 Omo.. Hwaiting!

If I do get in, vote for me? 💛 Haha ok let's not count the eggs before they're hatched!


Saturday, 12 May 2012

Life's unexpected turn.. Happy Mother's Day 2012!

Sorry for not posting for so long.. :D Missed me? I've been so busy with my exams that I had very little time for anything else. A-levels is indeed really hectic!

When I enrolled myself into A-levels, in Inti, I was not expecting my class to be so empty. D;
I literally have about 6 students including me in 2 of my classes.

It's been driving me INSANE!
Anyway, I am currently sitting for my AS. I am taking 3 subs. (Law, Business & Econs)
If ur planning to get into Inti, pls do NOT take Econs. Reasons shall not be specified. :) <3

So during the time while I was gone, I bought a new phone! :D Nokia Asha 200.
It has been serving me well at the price of RM250 only.. Everyone shld get one. Its super adorable! With its rounded edges, it looks like an egg shaped phone. Li'l panda pluggy lights up whenever someone texts/calls me. <3 Heh.. Love it..

Okay I know its a li'l long, but it's worth the watch.. Btw, suscribe to Wongfuproductions! :D U would be surprised with their inspiring videos..

Well honestly, not every couple ends up like that.. The process is not irreversible! :) 

Anyway, this is a picture I took and editted. I am considering saving up to buy a DSLR! Do u guys have any suggestions on which brand and model is better? My budget is prolly arnd RM2500..

I have decided to be a full-time blogger after my AS! :D But of cos I will be taking a break whenever exams are nearing.. What do u think? Should I continue blogging or would u rather me not blog anymore? :( Would u read my blog if I did?

I will be updating this blog with makeup tutorials, my shopping hauls, fashion, photography and wtv I find interesting. <3
Well, if ur interested in continuously reading my blog, do comment in the chat box on the right! 

Well, since it's mother's day, Happy Mother's Day to all mummys out there! <3
Ok I know I look funny. WTV! :P

Thank you for reading..

Nicole Allisson

P.S.- All photos are taken and edited by me. Please do not use the picture for any advertisements or personal use without permission. TQ! :D

Friday, 24 February 2012

For A Cause

 Here are pictures from my Instagram. :) I just started a cause on instagram for  those who are undergoing depression and eating disorders. I've had my fair share of all those growing up and I never had the proper guidance or anyone to talk to me about these matters. Therefore, I started this cause with the hash tag #mystoryis for people to share their stories on what is going on in their lives.

With this hash tag, i'm hoping that more people would respond and come to know of it as this gives them an opportunity to voice out and get heard. Here's where all the other IGers can share their concern & love. Some of those undergoing depression and eating disorders are as young as 14yrs old!

So please.. I am here, asking for everyone of you who has a kind soul, please share this cause as it can help save lives of those girls who are suicidal. Together we can educate more people on depression and eating disorders. This can bring awareness. I'm only hoping that one day, all these will come to an end as its not something anyone or any child should have to go through.

Don't think that these people are stupid to be suicidal. Most have been abused emotionally/physically most of their lives. And its because of the things that people say that causes it. Sometimes calling someone else fat or ugly can cause more damage than you think. To you, it may only seem as harmless fun but its different on the receiving end. So stop it as it might cost a life!

My Story

This isn't easy for me but I know that if I start, people will speak out too. I'm doing this for a good cause. So please.. Don't leave harsh comments.

My parents separated at the age of 3. I pretty much had to grow up much faster than most kids. I grew to be independent and had no choice. When I was 6, I was moved back to Seremban to live. That was the moment where things started to fall apart as I was forced to live with my grandparents. :) Due to the large age gap, we never got along really well and there was nobody to talk to or understand my predicament. I missed being around my mom and looked forward to every weekend for her return.

 When I was 11, that was when my parents officially got a divorce. Signed. When I heard the news, that was when I knew that there was no point trying to reconcile them any longer. I was devastated. From that moment on, I started going through depression as being the only child only means no company, nobody to talk to and loneliness. My friends were never really close to me and I never really liked talking about my family matters. I started starving myself and puking everything I ate as it made me feel better about myself. I felt that I was fat and I needed to get thinner to be prettier hoping that i'd be better accepted by my peers. I only ate salad and vegetables and nothing else. From that moment on, I fell sick easily, had breathing difficulties and heart palpitation. Not a good feeling. I promise. It did not make me feel prettier at all. I just felt uglier as I got skinnier and skinnier.

 At the age of 12, I lost all motivation to go to school or to mingle as at that time, my friends just grew apart from me. I missed 3 months of school in total, I stopped doing my HW, moved from the 1st class to the last for a week and a half. I was teased a lot in school. I was the girl from the broken family. I was the spoilt only child. What nobody knew was that I was independent. I grew up on my own. I learnt from my mistakes. Either way, the teachers from that school put me to much shame and humiliation. They did not help the matter but made things worst by talking behind my back about me being "the girl from the broken family". I was being singled out throughout the year. Finally,  UPSR came. I made sure I wanted to prove everybody wrong cause nobody believed I could do well. I used the time being alone to study really hard and finally, I got myself the straight A's by God's grace. That was the breaking point of my depression. It gradually got better from then on. If it weren't for God, I don't know where I would have been today for all the moments I attempted to give up on life. My results was the way God showed me that he was there and that if no one else cared, He did. So I really thank God for my recovery today. :)

Here's the gist of  my story. Share urs.
Hot Mess!